i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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