well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize