i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
