what if every blade of grass was a penis?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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