what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
