His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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