I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
