i don't like sucking hair
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
