OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
