I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
