I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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