If that was your dad, he is hot
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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