He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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