I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
