I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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