I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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