I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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