He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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