I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize