return my video game
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize