jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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