I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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