Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
