We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
