he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
