Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
