Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
