can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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