absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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