I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
