Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize