this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
