handjob tips. give me some.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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