When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
