Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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