The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
