Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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