the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
