There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
