you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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