Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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