Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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