Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it because I queefed?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
