After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's always time for handjobs
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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