He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
