I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
