put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
