Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I smell stomach acid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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