Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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