we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
