shes about as inviting as chlamydia
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
