Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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