its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
