hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
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I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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