so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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