its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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