Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
