I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
