Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
