you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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