it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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