I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
