Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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