I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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