He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize