I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize