Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize