I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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