he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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