I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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