I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
