im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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