I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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