Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
