Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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