What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
