I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
