Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did I show you my penis last night?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
