I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
