I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
